A Little Perspective
Alright I've been slacking on the blog...but in my defense I haven't felt like saying a whole lot. But maybe I do, we'll see. Firstly, I've been hanging out with the Jeru Crew alot lately. Temple trips, camping outings, movie dates, filming stints...you name it we've done it. I love being around them and having this new pool of friends, but sometimes I feel a little stuck. Trying to merge two parts of yourself together can be difficult. It's good for me though. Now for the subject of conversation. Have you ever met somebody you knew was going to be a problem? Seriuosly though, from day one you know that this person is going to create problems. It's like they're super glue, and you know very well that if you get too close you'll be stuck. So you avoid it. You sit and watch everyone else get stuck to the glue, and they don't realize that the super glue isn't that great until they're already stuck. But no matter how hard you try, you still get sucked in. You're stuck. Stupid glue. Something that's really been bugging me lately as well (ok let's be honest, it's related to the super glue) is how manipulative some people are. Why do people think it's okay to say and do things they don't really mean, just to satisfy their own vanity and insecurities? I hate fakers. Is it so hard to just be yourself? So you might not be everyone's favorite person, but at least you're you. The biggest joke is that fakers usually just end up cheating themselves.
Quarter Life Crisis
Alright, so I've been considering something along the lines of this for quite some time and while it's not likely that I'm going to live to the ripe old age of 88 years old, we're going to round down and call it a quarter-life crisis. Today I was discussing the 5 year plan (or semblance of a plan) with one of my friends. Honestly, I've always been one of those people who takes a strange sort of joy from mapping things out and then changing them everyday until something better comes along. Kind of like Jerusalem, because I sure as heck didn't see that train coming. Anyways, today as I hashed out "the plan" I realized I am no longer excited about it. In fact, the thought makes me want to bang my head against the wall...just a little. When did that happen? When did the future become so bleak that I no longer look forward to it? I dunno, maybe I'm just having an off day.Second interesting topic of the day, my friend and I also had a conversation about girls and dating. For those of you who don't know me well, you should probably know that I love observing people. If I could have one superpower it would be invisibility, because everyone acts differently when they know someone's watching, but you see the real person emerge when they think they're all alone. Anyways, the point of this is that I frequently observe the actions and tendencies of people around me and I have reached a fairly solid conclusion. However, I'd like to put a disclaimer on it and specify that this is not an all inclusive generalization. It is simply what I have observed as most common in relationships. Guys love to date girls who are very good at talking about themselves. Why? I was hoping you'd ask... In my professional (profesh what? exactly. don't listen to a word i say) opinion, I believe it is because guys are lazy and don't like to carry on intelligent conversations. It's a whole lot easier to sit there and listen to a self absorbed girl blabber on about herself and all her problems instead of asking questions and giving thoughtful responses.Now don't go and click the comments all in a huff, just think about it, observe some couples interaction, and if you can prove me wrong on more than a few counts (because as we all know there are always exceptions) I will yield to your superior results.
Nostalgia Dies...Kind Of
Okay so the two weeks have been a little rough. I've been missing Jeru and all my friends like crazy, but I think I'm finally ready to leave the mourning process behind me and move on. Maybe. I think. Ijust need to quit looking at facebook where all those darn pictures are. I should probably just get into that whole second life thing and make new cyber friends to help me get over it. I hear you can even get yourself a spouse! Just what I need...Anywho, it's been back to work this week and I think I might just lose my mind right there in the basement level of the Harold B. Lee Library this summer. Spending almost 8 hours a day pouring over dusty bookshelves can do that to a person. It's also a frequent occurence for me to emerge from the stacks covered in what we down in Special Collections have lovingly dubbed "rare book". So if you see me running to the bathroom for the billionth time don't worry, I'm just rushing to get the 300 year old "rare book" off my hands. Here's a random problem for you: what do you do when someone who supposedly knows you calls you the wrong name? I know we've all experienced this phenomena, but what is correct response? Embarrass the person and correct them immediately or just ignore them? I always feel bad, but if it continues for an extended period of time it gets a little ridiculous. I think I'll adopt a new solution: casually strike up a conversation with someone else nearby and strategically get them to say your name. The only problem is that this requires quite a bit of conversation manipulation. I need to work on my rhetoric.Something else I experienced this week was a blast from the past, pop music style. On the way to fhe I ended up in a car full of girls with a poor boy driving as we jammed to tunes of yesterday like "This is me" by Dream and maybe some Spice Girls. But lets be honest, what girl doesn't want to party when she hears those songs from the middle school days when we all felt and looked most awkward. Oh wait...that's my life everyday. Awesome.
I’ve been pondering on expectations recently, and I think I’ve decided to adopt a new philosophy. A wise person once told me that they always keep their expectations low so they can’t be disappointed, and if your expectations are exceeded, it’s just a pleasant surprise. Yes, this is the pessimist’s way, but when have I ever been really good at optimism? Precisely. There are enough disappointments in life without creating more out of failed expectations.
In other news, everyone I know and their dog is getting married. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for those people who find “the one,” but do they all have to do it at once? I am loving the single life and I don’t anticipate an end to it in the near future. But being single isn’t fun anymore if all your friends are married. Eesh. Can’t you people just stay single for my social life’s sake? It’d really help me out anyway.
On a happier note, today is Saturday, it is raining, and I don’t have to work. This is the makings for a good day. That is all.