Can I help you with anything else?

That, my friends, is a very dangerous question. Let me tell you why... So, as many of you know, my Monday nights are currently dominated by my second job at Deseret Book. I don't complain though as the perks of discounts and some extra income outweigh the negatives. However, this week provided one of the best encounters yet. As usual, I was minding my own business putting away newly arrived books when a male customer in a red shirt entered the store and immediately made eye contact with me. Since retail experience has trained me to be pro-active, I dutifully walked up and asked if I could help him find something. He responded he was looking for a DVD, so I led him to the movie section and quickly helped him find the correct one. As I was about to leave him to browsing, I asked as an after-thought, "Can I help you with anything else?" Bad move. The moment it left my lips I knew this was going to go somewhere I didn't want it to. He looked at me thoughtfully for half a second, cocked his head, and said "Yeah actually, maybe I could take you out for dinner or something sometime?" YIKES! Now let me just preface this boys with a word to the wise: Asking a girl out who you have only met 2 minutes prior is NOT socially appropriate. Ever. I don't care if you're the smoothest most attractive operator around, it's just not a good idea. So, this being my philosophy, I wasn't about to cave out of pity. After an awkward moment of silence I smiled, said I was flattered, but no. Truth be told, I felt pretty guilty (not to mention uncomfortable), but I would rather be honest than misleading. So he wished me a good day and made a quick exit to the register. Now if the story ended here, it would be sad enough, but it doesn't. About 15 minutes later I made my way up to the registers to look up something on the computer and had my cute co-worker Amy give me a look and say quietly as she rang up a customer "Oh I have a story for you" to which my eyes widened and I replied "Oh-ho I'm sure you do, as I have the same one." Turns out literally minutes after getting shot down by me, the man had approached her and done the same thing. The difference was, she is a nicer person than I am and ended up giving her number to him even though she had no desire whatsoever of going on a date with him. So, props to you red shirt man...I don't think I would ever have the nerve to ask out someone who I don't even know, and then straight out the gate of being denied, go and repeat the process 5 minutes later. At least he had a 50% success rate though, right? Oh Provo.

Epic Fail

I know that phrase is a completely over-used hipster thing these days, but it really just encompasses my life lately. Ever have those days where it seems like no matter how hard you try, it just doesn't work? Well, that was my day...my week...maybe even my month. Why must life be so complicated? Probably because if it wasn't, we'd never learn anything. But still, it sure would be nice to be thrown a bone every once in awhile ya know?

From Down Under

My blog is inexplicably getting very cultured. Strange. Anyways, today the topic is dedicated to my one and only Australian mate. In lieu of her recent visit to the very patriotic and FREE country of the United States of America (Freedom!!!!), I have decided to share with all of you people the lovely linguistic treats she has brought me from her homeland of The Great Outback. So here's a little vocabulary lesson for you from down under.

bogan NOUN [boh-guhn]
An unsophisticated or uncultured person aka hick

knackered ADJ [nak-erd]
Used to describe a tired or exhausted state of being

sweet as ADJ [sweet az]
Phrase to identify something or someone as 'cool'

bro NOUN [broh]
Any person, female or male, who you are friendly with

bonnet NOUN [boh-net]
The front part of a car, otherwise known as a 'hood'

stuff it VERB [stuhf iht]
An action to suggest one is tired of doing something and quits

dunny NOUN [duh-nee]
The bathroom and may also be referred to as the 'dunny can'

Pom NOUN [pahm]
A yuppie British person, and used as an adjective in the form of 'pommy'

Now that you have been thoroughly educated in the ways of the Aussies, you should probably go impress all your friends with your new vocabulary. Of course they might just roll their eyes and judge you because you don't have that cool accent....it happens. However, if you would like to immerse yourself further, proceed to these links where you may experience other fascinating Australian past-times. Cheers!

Andy and Hamish: Stranger Racing
Andy and Hamish: Ghosting

A Homework Rant

You know what REALLY bugs? Homework that doesn't actually require the use of your brain. I've been sitting here for a full 30 minutes doing a ridiculous 5th grade assignment for my linguistics class and it doesn't even occupy enough of my brain to stop myself from thinking of the one thing I DON'T want to think about. What the heck is the point of a college education if it doesn't necessitate more than the mental capacity of a 12 year old? I'm closing in on super senior status and I still have professors giving me busy work. Why do I pay for this crap? Seriously?!?! Okay...rant over.