A Little Perspective

Friday, March 28, 2008

Thoughts of the Week

today i dont feel like using punctuation. except for the period. the period is good. anways, it has been a fairly productive week. and each week past means summer gets closer. always good news. so, a few thoughts that occurred to me this week...

one of the best parts of the day is at breakfast, when you're eating your favorite cereal. then there's that extra milk at the bottom of the bowl. pouring that extra half a cup of cereal in to use it up...one of life's little pleasures in my opinion.

as i was walking on campus to the library, which is not of course my favorite place, there was a band playing in the wilk courtyard. i looked over briefly and continued walking, but still listened to the music. at that moment i had been thinking of some less than perfect part of my life and the music just matched it. it was then i decided that life should have background music. think about it...if all the important moments of your life had some track of music that explained the situation perfectly, memories would be more profound. at least i think it would. life is better with music.

finally, driving home from work today, i started thinking about how people never view themselves the way everyone else does. whenever you ask somebody who knows you really well to describe you, they usually offer something up that you never thought about before. whether we see ourselves better or worse doesn't really matter i guess. it's just interesting that every person seems so blind to their own personalities. how well do you really know yourself? i mean really? as a species, human beings are just too ambiguous. maybe life would be easier if we were monkeys lol. for all of the so called wisdom and progress of humankind, sometimes i think i'd rather be the monkey.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Fill in the blank

It's funny how no matter how much you write, talk, yell, or think....there's always something more to be said. For the past few weeks now I've been feeling pretty lame, for lack of a better word. Despite all the so-called progress, growth, and plans, I am still going nowhere. It just seems like I keep running into that tall cement wall. No ladder, no rope, no help, nothing. Does anyone else get sick of themselves? Why can't I just get over all of the stupid stuff that holds me back? Meh, it is too useless to think about.

It's funny how when you go back to a place you haven't been for awhile, you notice every little thing that has changed, but for anyone who's been there all along, they hardly see the difference. Maybe it's that way with ourselves. We can't really see how we're changing, but everyone else can. That's why I always want to leave, because I can't see anything when I'm in it. For better or worse, I want to see the reality of things. I've always avoided that optimistic route, just because it would be too much of a disappointment. But here's the reality: you hope for it either way, and you're disappointed just the same if it doesn't happen. So why not go ahead and live in the land of hope? At least things are little brighter over on that side of the fence. Well...easier said than done.

It's funny how the more you put something off, the harder it becomes to do it. I had an interesting experience a few weeks ago where I knew I had to do something. I didn't want to, in fact it made me physically ill to think about it, but the longer I waited, the worse the idea got. I couldn't focus on anything but that one thing. So it doesn't matter how long you put off, because it's still consuming you even when you think it's not. I did it finally, but it certainly did not pan out the way I had hoped. Maybe it would've turned out differently if I hadn't waitied. Maybe it wouldn't have. But that's too many maybes. Moral of the story: procrastinating hurts....and I am an idiot.